The Ladies of Kooch: Jessi
Hi, my lovely Koochies! Considering we’re about to get very personal with each other, I felt I should take the time to introduce myself and get you super comfy and ultra-cozy with me and all of my crazy.
My name’s Jessi and I’ve been on this planet more years than I’m comfortable admitting to a stranger at a party. Fine. 39. Are you happy? As I write this I am 39 years old. I’m a boy-mom, almost-wife, always-rebel, bigtime yogi, self-proclaimed potato spirit, music lover, master swearer, and ex-goat herder. I’m currently living in the Pacific Northwest with my gorgeous, hunky, beef-cake of a fiancé, gentleman of a son that I will never deserve, harem of aging, lady dogs, and flock of budgies that chose me as their safe harbor. You’ll quickly learn by following me that I’m a tough nut to crack and probably not what you expect.
Growing up, I had tons of girlfriends but never felt comfortable talking with them about my sexual wellbeing – whether that had to with my physical self or even how I felt in relationships. I lived under a shame cloud and, *cough* in a time before Google *cough,* could only, vaguely, find answers to my lingering questions in (gasp) beauty magazines.
A few years into college, I quit school and moved to Las Vegas. In a random twist of bizarro-world fate, I found myself working as a dispatcher at an outcall service for “entertainers.” And yes, by “entertainers” I softly mean hookers.
These so called “hookers” were nothing like I thought they would be. They were very comfortable with their bodies, which wasn’t surprising, but what was surprising was their absolute kindness, authenticity, and generosity. Not only with them did I find a space to talk about my body, but I could also divulge to them my other, inner-deepest insecurities – sex, love, pain – and they never judged me. For the first time in my whole entire puny little life, I felt the freedom of being “me.”
When I moved back Vegas, I was a changed girl. Once you dive into the deep-end of authenticity and, just plain old, not giving a fuck, there’s no going back. I felt liberated.
A few years later, I got married to my first husband and gave birth to my son. For the first time in a long time I felt the pang of “insecurity,” only this time the insecurity did not involve me (well, not mostly… I am still of the girl variety) but with my son. I became obsessed with protecting him. How was I going to keep him from all the many ailments of the world???
I read up and studied every piece of holistic-body literature I could get my hands on. I began making herbal tinctures, balms, teas, you name it, all on the name of preventing disease and warding off infections and viruses.
Smash cut to 10 years later: I’m in the bathroom applying facial products to my lady bits and it pops into my head: “Why is no one making “skin care” for your vagina?” Sure, you can find a whole host of scarily named medicinal products in the drug store but I’m not trying to cure a yeast infection -- I’m just trying to prevent one by keeping my vagina moisturized and balanced. And just like the skin on my face, I want my labia and inner vagina to be soft and supple and, dare I say the “m” word… fuck it, moist. Sorry, but some aerosol can of pussy-deodorant called “RevagiPHresh” isn’t going to do that.
Then it occurred to me, “Why am I not making “skin care” for my vagina??? I know how do this!” But like most big ideas, you find yourself pulling back for various reasons and the put the idea on the back burner.
A few months later, I’m sitting in Mexico, nursing a mild hangover, when God floats the loveliest creature down from heaven: Anne. There she was, in all of her cool-girl glory, telling me about her ideas for revolutionizing the post-birth world of moms and how she doesn’t watch tv and whatever else the musings of a goddess are, and then it hits me – she was what I was waiting for!
So then I asked her. And she said yes. Hence, Kooch was born. I was pumped. And now here we are… falling down the rabbit-hole of self-discovery, unabashed questions and answers, in one of the most shame-free environments you’ll find. Get ready to have some fun.
XOXO
Jessi